Not being a great football fan I can think of nothing better than getting paid to go and watch football (insert sarcasm as required). I have stated on many occasions that I would have to be paid to go to a ‘footy match’ and my wish may well come true. Due to my strange compulsion to get myself into situations that I can barely handle, I’m going for a stewards job. This means I will have to try and control the drunk leering crowd of townies who’s only wish is to throw coins and bottles and the opposition ‘scum’! Joy.

As stated before, I don’t look particularly scary or even moderately ‘ard. This means the interview process should be a laugh a minute as I square up against 16 and 17 stone bearded men with a penchant for violence.

I’ll let you know how it goes.